Blog etherised on a table…

11 Comments

1. 

   Ned

   November 4, 2009 at 6:40 pm

   I hope this doesn’t sound bitter (it’s meant to be honest not acerbic), but I got so little (or none at all) response to the things I posted (my last entry on the writing project as an example) that it seems people are more interested in Facebook or whatever other online presence they have.

   To be honest, I backed off facebook quite a bit and I have filled a dozen sketch pages in 2 weeks despite a busy schedule. I feel much healthier spiritually, if that’s possible – maybe I mean psychologically but spiritually seems to fit better.

   I will miss music Thursdays, but otherwise, I don’t have strong feelings either way as to the fate of the blog. Thanks to Toby for all the work he has done with it over the months.
2. 

   Shotts (Post author)

   November 4, 2009 at 8:56 pm

   Ned, this doesn’t sound bitter, just resigned. I’m sorry for my part in not responding to some of your posts, and including the writing project. I just don’t think the writing project can sustain itself, at least for me.

   What I think is that we need to take the blog back to some of its original roots–we used to talk a lot about what was going on with us, issues we are confronting, family, our group, when we might next get together, and it felt a lot more personal, frankly. I appreciate that the internet is not the safest or even the best mode by which to discuss these things, but it was good, it was egalitarian, and some interesting stuff got posted, even if it needed to be under the password.

   I guess I’d like to see things go back to that. I’d love to hear Peters writing about their pregnancy and anticipation of fatherhood, for example. I’d love to hear Ned talk about what it’s like to have two kids–and also juggle a creative life and teaching life. I’d love to hear J. E. talk about the bookshelves they are putting up, which frankly seem like they are straight out of an HM dream vision of what our personal libraries would be like. (I only know about the shelves because of Facebook.) I’d love to hear Peters write about keeping fit, and I’d like to have a forum for Toby and me talk about our struggles with that. In other words, I guess I’d like the blog to try to come as close as possible to what it’s like to sit around a firepit with you guys…
3. 

   Ned

   November 4, 2009 at 10:03 pm

   I’m all for talking around the fire, but if I start to hear an echo then I’m going to stop talking and go where being silent is valuable.
4. 

   Shotts (Post author)

   November 5, 2009 at 2:04 pm

   Thanks, Ned. I guess I take this to mean you are up for the kind of “firepit” conversation I’m talking about, as long as it stays lively and people participate. I agree that when it goes silent, especially when you’ve put yourself out there, it feels kind of dismissive. Certainly we all hold the right to not write and post, and we can all divulge as much or as little as we want–but I think for this to work, we all need to commit to at least posting and/or commenting once a week minimum. That way it feels like a conversation, and doesn’t feel too much like one or two of us are just lurking somewhere in the shadows.

   I’ll put up the first post now, with some idea of getting things going–appropriately on the subject of communication…
5. 

   Pete

   November 8, 2009 at 2:58 pm

   sometimes we choose to say nothing, as what might be said would not improve upon the silence….
6. 

   Ned

   November 8, 2009 at 3:07 pm

   Being silent around a fire is profound. Being silent on a blog is equal to being absent.
7. 

   Shotts (Post author)

   November 8, 2009 at 4:30 pm

   I think I agree with Ned on that one. I think we’re all interested in what each other have to say–and interested as much in how we say it as what we say.

   Otherwise, you will not find a better proponent of silence than me…
8. 

   J.E.

   November 9, 2009 at 1:43 pm

   Ned, I never could read those images that you posted — that is why I never commented.

   It is fair to say that I’m “more interested in Facebook.” Here are some reasons why: 1) There’s more than five people there in that social network, including all of the HM. 2) All those with a Facebook account including Amanda, Jen and Liz are permitted to post there too. 3) I can access Facebook from my phone. I don’t like to blog from work and computer at home is sucking more every day.

   Having said that, I can commit to posting something new here every two weeks because my relationship with each of you is important to me.
9. 

   Ned

   November 9, 2009 at 3:59 pm

   J.E. there are a dozen responses I can immediately think of about posting, but I guess I don’t care enough to run through them because, however I phrase my words, it would seem argumentative.

   I don’t like facebook, because I don’t have any substantive interaction there. I feel I could argue that no one does, but I don’t have the energy or time to make claims like that.

   At this point in my life, the only social interaction I have that is not superficial and extremely guarded is with my family. I am beginning to resign myself to that; however, I also fear placing all my social weight into my family, since I know eventually I will, to some degree, have to let go of that. But I guess that is a ways off.

   I’ve walked to work the last few weeks, and the air and the “splendid isolation” has been good for me.

   Shotts you said once, jokingly or not, that I push people away. I wonder if maybe that’s true, though it’s not consciously done.

   I went to “Where the Wild Things Are” with my family this weekend. It’s not at all what most people expect, but I guess I kind of liked it.
10. 

    J.E.

    November 9, 2009 at 4:46 pm

    Ned, as long as I have known you, you have seemed argumentative. I like that about you. Why try to stop now?

    As someone who is also prone to self isolation, facebook has more often than not, drawn me out of the shadows. And though substantive interaction is rare, it does happen often enough for me. More than that, the “virtual” contact I have with the people of facebook often leads to “actual” contact down the road.

    Anyway we can conclude this discussion by declaring that I find my online relationships through facebook substantive and you do not. No big deal.

    Great, now I’m bickering on the blog again when I should be working on these TPS reports. Effing thanks to all of you.
11. 

    Shotts (Post author)

    November 10, 2009 at 7:48 pm

    J. E., great to have you posting and commenting. A once every two weeks commitment to the HM blog seems fine to me. If you can and want to do more, then great.

    I guess what I like about the HM blog is that it is just the group of us here. I find it a little strange to have people I don’t especially know commenting on threads or even family photos. I’ve blocked some of that now, but I like that, oddly, there is a feeling here on the HM blog that I know my audience and can feel assured by that. To use Ned’s phrasing, I feel more guarded on Facebook than I do here. On the other hand, my family has just recently started a group page on Facebook, and that’s kind of fun: even my dad is online with that once in a while.

    Ned, I push people away too. That’s what my whole post and comments on the “Hold the Phone” post seems to be about. So we’re together in our splendid isolation. I’m sorry you’re feeling a bit more isolated than splendid right now, it would seem.