:::this is the way the world ends:::

Important Safety Instructions- humor in everyday things

Everyone needs a dog or small child. The things they bring you are priceless. Usually Ernie brings me stuff from around the house and yard in a condition that requires a litttle pondering about its origin and purpose, sometimes we wonder simply what it might have been in its former life before becoming a chew toy. This morning, Ernie brought me a small tag. “Important Safety Instructions” it shouted at me in big, red(well, a little more orange than red now) print. I figured whatever it was had been operated for a fair amount of time without injuring me to my knowlege; but despite my laziness about reading such fair (also includes instructions and technical manuals unless I can’t get the device to work properly without them), I read the small tag. It read:

This portable lamp has a polarized plug (one blade is wider than the other.) Ok, I am following this so far, and I really want to be safe and teach safe practices in the peoper operation of our lamp, whichever one it may be. As a safety feature this plug will fit in a polarized outlet only one way, if the plug does not fit fully into the outlet, reverse the plug, if it still does not fit, contact a qualified electrician. Wow! How will that phone call go?! Sir, I can’t get my plug to plug in. Um, is it a polarized plug, did you try it the other way?
But wait this gets better: Never use with an extension cord unless the plug can be fully inserted, Do not attempt to defeat this safety feature. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO DEFEAT THIS SAFETY FEATURE?! I love the wording on this. It makes it sound as though this the shape of the plug has become a mortal enemy on par with Galactus or Darth Vader- clearly a villian to dangerous to attempt to defeat. Leave that up to the Justice League or perhaps a qualified electrician. There’s more to the note following this, but I suddenly found myself hatching plots to defeat my new enemy. All I need to do now is figure out from which lamp this came and contact the A-Team. Happy NewYear! jp

1 Comment

  1. J.E.

    The best part about the “safety” tag is that your dog clearly chewed this off of a lamp cord.

    As for our household, yesterday my cat Ingrid inspected a stink bug to closely and spent the next few minutes with a white slobber beard.

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