"Overman would be proud," I mumbled to myself after hearing the second Elvis song in a row at 8:05 yesterday morning.

Yup, he would be ecstatic that if there was one thing carried over from my high school education, that I could recall Elvis Presley’s birthday with minimal prompting would be it. So I thought about Elvis, quite a bit, in fact. He was hard to escape yesterday, his music on the agency’s sound system all day. I think I may have been growing a bouffant hairdo during this barrage on my sanity.

I also found myself considering Michael Jackson and the similarities between the two. The wealth, the development of alternative realities, the loss of their essence, before dying, in unforeseen, unrespectable drug-induced manners. Ah, the drugs, a symptom I think of the whole loss of reality bit. A way to be in outer space, isolated, and not have to come back down.

I saw a really great PBS program this week- 6 hours of "This Emotional Life", with the net result being: Human Relationships Are THE Most Important variable in mental health and well-being. Elvis and MJ lost this. Their wealth and fame separated themselves out. They became obsessed with themselves, building their realities, suspicious of the intentions of others, partially out of real concerns. Other people want what wealthy people have.

Then a chilling thought occurred to me. Elvis and MJ are a pair of the most recognizable symbols of America to the world. Nay, it is worse, they are icons because they represent America to the world. America is the wealthy, build our own reality rock star whose fame keeps us from being truly aware of the rest of the worlds problems. this has partially been fed by the world’s grandiose view of us.

But now, I really hope at some point soon we develop a grounding, a reconnection, before we end up dried up and deceased of our own over-consumption. The analogy really goes deeper, because there are so many countries/companies willing to continue to to give us our prescription and illicit drugs as long as they can be hangers-on. These were my thoughts on Elvis Presley’s Birthday.

I heard someone say he would have been seventy-five this week.

I’ve been listening to this song by Imogen Heap like crazy for the past couple of weeks.  I thought I’d share.  On the deluxe version of the album, I really like the instrumental version.  It doesn’t have the emotional tenor of the vocal version, but it really converys a mood to me.  For some reason this song really makes me think of being in England and living in the 80’s.  At the same time.  It’s kind of a strange sensation — this song causes two deeply nostalgic periods of my life to overlap that I never would have thought compatible.

I’ll let you listen now….

01 | First Train Home
02 | First Train Home (Instrumental)

Good 2010 to all of my fellow Hollow Souls.

I’ve been in a particularly reflective mood in this New Year, and I want to explore some of those reflective moments with the rest of you, if possible.  It’s been a decade since the calendar flipped over to the year 2000, a lot of fears never materialized in flipping over and a lot of fears we never realized we should have materialized in the haze of the past ten years.  The more I ponder it, the more I realize we’ve seen a lot.

Over the next couple of weeks, I’d like to post some conversation starters in the articles and have people contribute to the main idea with thoughts of their own.

For this one…I’d like to hear from you all about the things that have happened in the last ten years that have been memorable.  They can be significant or trivial, just something worth noting. 

Ten years ago, I felt like I had been in Kansas City for ages.  Nursing a broken heart made things go unbearably slow, even though I had only been here about ten months.  I actually remember wondering on New Year’s Day of 2000 where I would be in 2010, if I’d even be alive to be cognizant of it.  Happy to say, I am.

What happened for you in this decade in the making?

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

As it happens, I have a fairly grand holiday break set up for myself this year, due to the fact that my class ends the week of December 10, I’m three days a week at Graywolf, and I have saved up vacation days all year, apparently. I will more or less be off of a regular work schedule from December 13 to January 7.

I’m hoping that might mean I can come to Kansas for a few days somewhere in there–either before Christmas or sometime after. I will certainly be in Minnesota roughly December 23-26 for family gatherings here. I thought I would see when others of you might be around the McPherson area during the holidays, to see if I can match my schedule to yours, as it would be great to see you all, in addition to my parents, grandparents, and extended family.

I need to get my air fare set as soon as possible, so let me know what your plans may be. And of course, it’s always interesting to know what all of you are doing for Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s…

What does the Jesus Year hold for you, and what do you make of this idea generally, and in terms of your own lives?

For me, I’m interested in finding larger struggles beyond myself, and maybe that’s ultimately what one can do that lives up to, in part, the example of Jesus. And yet. Here, this year, I’ve been given everything–a good life, companionship, good work, and even a more flexible schedule so that I can teach this fall (something I’ve wanted for a long time) and so that I can write (something I’ve always wanted). Why does this still seem like it falls short? Why are my struggles still primarily with myself? Is this part of the experience of being 33, as a sort of crossroads year? A year in which I know many of my peers are far more successful in terms of what the culture says is successful? Why is it that I still can’t eat right, exercise right, balance my life? Maybe the Jesus Year is the year we are supposed to compare ourselves to Jesus, yes, but really what we do is compare ourselves to everyone else?

But more generally, does this stage of life have any common or universal traits among the culture at large? Are most people already married? already married and divorced? having children? getting higher promotions? running for office? changing jobs? moving? taking up some cause?

I thought you would all be interested in this, seeing as, for a little while longer, at least, we’re all 33, our high school and college classmates are, most of them, 33, and I suspect several of our friends, cousins, and others around us are 33. And we haven’t had a larger question posed lately, so it seems like a good time. Any thoughts?

It seems like there’s been a sad chain of obituaries on the blog lately.  I’m a little hesitant in the midst of those to post something so frivolous, but it’s an exciting frivolous.  At least, I can’t help but get a little giddy about these two news items today. 

Click the links below to visit Tob’s excitement:

http://www.indianajones.com/site/index.html
http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount/ironman/

Today in Eau Claire is cool and sunny. One of the first tastes of fall coming on. Eliot had his last day of pre-school soccer camp today (we lost one to zero, though most of the kids didn’t know who won and who lost or what team they were on or which direction to kick the ball)and when he finished his game we log rolled all the way down a huge green hill and then raced to the parking lot, dizzy. I used to do similar activities with friends at KCAI. It’s better than being drunk. I have never felt more happy about nearly puking. There is something about this weather that makes me feel more alive and hopeful than any other kind of weather, even more than spring, I think. Of course, I’m sure we’ll have some more hot days, but what a beauty this is. YYYYAAAAWWWWPPPP!!!!

So I’m busy on my Thursdays and Fridays away from Graywolf–preparing my syllabus, creating assignments, and fretting in positive ways about the fall semester. I’m sort of giddy to be back on a campus, right across from the library and chapel, and around some of the bustle that’s already starting to take place. My class doesn’t start until September 10, so luckily I have some time yet. It will be a great experiment to be back in the classroom again, and I’m feeling like it’s a great time to return to it. And with just a one-class appointment, it’s not a huge loss if it all doesn’t go perfectly–so in it’s way, it’s nice to have some pressure off.

Meanwhile, I’m trying to get some writing in and some freelance editing to try to make up some of my reduced salary. This seems like a much healthier schedule for me, and I’m finding myself happier even than I thought I’d be at taking a step back from Graywolf. Here’s to good things ahead.

I would just like to announce to all of you that Indiana Jones is officially underway with Speilberg at the helm and Ford, Connery, and Cate Blanchett along for the ride.

Video after the break.

Oh, and…first. 

Video

I declare this the king of Goldberg machines:  http://baynhamtyers.com/contraptionII.html

Cocaine + Corn=
http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=54522&in_page_id=2

Our childhood dreams are a reality: http://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/transportation/4217989.html

The little red spot: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/technology/technology.html?in_article_id=452130&in_page_id=1965

J.E.’s next clock: http://technabob.com/blog/2007/06/18/modern-flip-clock-updates-an-old-standard/

The new Transformers movie is already obsolete: http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/06/more_than_meets_the_eye

Nature already had it figured out: http://www.sycamorefan.com/fan/feature/features.html

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKuA3iee4-c[/youtube]

Click on the thumbnails to read the full version.

Seriously, I didn’t realize things like this still existed…but when we visited Steph’s grandparents a couple of weeks ago, I found these in their local version of the “Mac Shopper.”  Thoughts, reactions, guesses?   

But, this leads me to ask: any “tops” of 2006 you’d like to share and comment on here?

Here are a few, from me:

Top novel: Out Stealing Horses by Per Petterson (actually out in the U.S. from Graywolf Press in 2007).

Top poetry collection: Averno by Louise Gluck

Top movie: The Prestige

Top documentary: An Inconvenient Truth

Top song: “Hamburg Song” by Keane

Top political event: Democrats regaining Congress in November elections. Rumsfeld “resigns” shortly thereafter.

Top global events: Lack of global resolve over Darfur, Sudan. Continued unavailability of clean water to millions.

Top Minnesota event: The state sends first Islamic member of Congress to Washington in November election.

Top celebrity: Bono

So, looking ahead now, here are a few thoughts and resolutions from me.

In 2007, I expect:

• to see Hilary Clinton, Barack Obama, John McCain, and Rudy Guliani in the spotlight for the Presidential elections of 2008, as they all announce their candidacies. (I’m already surprised to see John Edwards announce his candidacy, and so early.)
• a withdrawl plan from Iraq.
• peacekeeping efforts deployed to Darfur, through a renewed United Nations.
• the biggest seller in books, by far, to be the new and final Harry Potter.
• the biggest movie, in terms of blockbuster status, to be the new Harry Potter movie.
• to be exhausted by Harry Potter by this time next year.
• additional evidence for global warming.
• one of us to announce a child on the way.

Some of my personal resolutions include:

• to eat vegetarian as much as possible, with only occasional fish when eating out.
• to eat less, eat more healthy foods, drink less alcohol, and drink more water daily.
• to exercise at the Y at least 12 times each month.
• to post and comment regularly on the Hollow Men site, including a weekly literary/poetry feature.
• to work to organize our house better.
• to begin more sustained writing.
• to be in better touch with family and friends.

–Shotts

I just received an email from Staci (Shoemaker) Schmid, who has informed me that a Fifteen-Year Class Reunion for the MHS graduating class of 1992 is planned for August 2007. She has asked me to provide her with any emails or mailing addresses for classmates.

You heard it here first.

–Shotts

Today’s music selections are a hodge-podge of tracks I’ve been listening to since the last MT post, very suitable in light of the Thansgiving arrangement of foods we ate yesterday (and probably today).  Starting off with the T-Day appropriate ”TV” and ending with an entrance into the Christmas holidays, named “That Was The Worst Christmas Ever!” I hope you enjoy this Thansgiving weekend mix.  I’ve even thrown the 2 new U2 tracks in there — it wouldn’t be Thansgiving without it.

01 Headlights | TV
02 Shiny Toy Guns | “Starts With One”
03 Teddybears | “Punkrocker (Squeakeclean Remix) Mastered”
04 U2 | “The Saints Are Coming”
05 U2 | “Window In The Skies”
06 Dappled Cities Fly | “Within Hours”
07 Sufjan Stevens | “That Was The Worst Christmas Ever!”

We’ve come a long way since Ember’s my friends….

This past weekend, you all know what we were up to. 

One weekend ago, some of my K-State friends congregated at our house for a reunion we have once a year, usually in the summer. 

Two weekends ago I got the to enjoy the Ozark autumn, with trees just at the cusp of their full fall colors.  I went camping with 3 guys from Kansas City I know through our church in the Mark Twain National Forest.  The end destination on our hike: the Devil’s Backbone.  Below is a photo my friend took while we were on the ridge (it was very backboney).

Click on the photo to see the full panorama….

While we were there, I thought about all things Devil’s Backbone and was reminded of a great movie by Guillermo Del Toro: The Devil’s Backbone.  Since this is Halloween night (I’m currently writing while waiting to hand out candy with Steph, the kids keep coming up to our door) I thought the movie buttressed up against my reflections of this October nicely.  I recommend this movie greatly.   It takes in Spain during the Spanish civil war in 1939.  I don’t normally watch horror films.  However, the horror from this film isn’t produced by the film’s ghost, but instead comes from the humans caught up in this war.  At least, that’s my take on it.  It’s a ghost story where the most terrifying element comes from the humans.  Watch it, if you’d like.  I’d love to hear your reactions on it.  The DVD cover stinks, by the way.

Oh, and catch Pan’s Labyrinth when it comes out, also by Guillermo Del Toro.  It looks fantastic too.  …of course, it has the right to be horrible and I’ll have to take my ringing endorsement (for a film I haven’t even seen) back.  I should be more careful.

Doc Watson, Ricky Skaggs, Earl Scruggs | The Three Pickers

01 Feast Here Tonight
02 What Would You Give in Exchange for Your Soul
03 Spoken Introduction
04 Who Will Sing for Me
05 Spoken Introduction
06 Soldier’s Joy
07 Walk on Boy
08 Daybreak Blues
09 Don’t Let Your Deal Go Down
10 Pick Along
11 Spoken Introduction
12 What is Home Without Love
13 Doin’ My Time
14 Earl’s Breakdown
15 The Storms Are on the Ocean
16 Down in the Valley to Pray
17 The Banks of the Ohio
18 Ridin’ That Midnight Train
19 Spoken Introduction
20 Road to Spencer
21 Katy Hill
22 Foggy Mountain Top
23 Roll in My Baby’s Arms

Summer Clearing

We pick locusts
sliding fresh from the dunes
like little Saint John the Baptists
wandering in our wildness.
Our little wilderness, sanctuaried
by a wheat truck and a chain,
arrives each time the metal-gray auger
slips under the patch of dust-
blue prairie sky.

We imagine the wide mouth
of the auger smiling at us
long and trembling. Comfortable
skin, tin-flecked and spotted,
reminds us of great grandma;
how the back of her hand
would turn over our faces
seeing with feeling,
expressions given two
generations away.
…how the back of her hand
shimmered with the thickness of opals,
deep and complex in buried years, but

signing her failing liver. Grandma goes,
the auger returns like a great benefactor
feeding us in her place,
warm in memory.
With a grin, the animal repeats
familial habit, pacing over
four rust-red walls that buckshot has
bored through, leaden weevils
tunneled by the Bowmans next door.
Spiral grates with dust and we hear
the steady slice of wheat coming
as grandpa kneads the metal
knob forth and back in the meat-
and-honeyed palm of his hand.
Golden in the summer
clearing, the Jordan comes to us.

We laugh until
the sandy slide of wheat
cuts our voices
out and we can only
grab as our mouths fill
with deserts; our lungs
split as the hot
chaff belches into them
a violent resuscitation,
Stream rolls us under
and bites
like tiny spring hailstones.

When father pulls my shoulders
loose and shakes the grain free
I don’t only feel it, again
I am born into the yeasty light.
Shallow scrape of machine-missed
chaff arches our back until
our heads are bleach-blonde
keystones to June.

Fingers dip, till, push, pluck
ripped bodies of grasshoppers still
throeing, newly cut.
We squeeze them tenderly and yell at the combines,
our fingers chalk green with mercy.

This would have, like, cost us $1,000,000 twenty years ago.

I found vNES online today.  It’s amazing how technology has gotten us to the point where something that brought so much excitement, sleepovers at Ned’s and Adam’s homes, and persistently sore thumbs could become so mundane and compact as to be virtualized on the net.  Available now, without having to blow on cartridges — without pushing strange combinations of buttons to save that game of Zelda.  Now you can have it all (or lots of it, at least).  Er, maybe not saving games of Zelda.

…..

I can see the folly of my youth staring me in the face.  I’m glad there’s not some cosmic timer ticking in the universe for all of the Nintendo hours I’ve put it during the course of my life. 

Now we just have to wait for the vPS1, and the virtualized copy of Masters of Teras Kasi.  Then all will have come full-circle.

We approach our gathering, and I’m enjoying the anticipation. I look forward to speaking with you all. It’s been a long couple of weeks, one of which was spent on the road in New Jersey for the Dodge Poetry Festival (anyone who has viewed Bill Moyers’ special The Language of Life knows the Dodge Festival) and then in New York for a few days. A week away has paid a toll.

First, some housekeeping:

Toby, are you ready for us to descend upon you? Anything we can do, bring, or otherwise?

J.E. and Ned, are you able to be there?

Peters, I assume you’re set to come?

And second, a few things:

I know I’ve put in for a guys-only kind of weekend. I still stand by that, but certainly don’t mean to put any of you in a strange spot–Toby especially–about this. So whatever the configuration, it will be great. Toby in particular, I know you and Steph have had a hard few weeks by now. I hope this weekend is still good for you, and I hope it’s useful the way friendship can be useful to grief.

I look forward to such candid talk. For one, I would like to hear more about our marriages and the ways each of us makes them work. Who would have thought we’d have an HM gathering and talk about our relationships, let alone our marriages? Considering that most HM gatherings centered often on our solitude, perhaps we’ve come some distance. But I guess that’s the vicinity I’d like to discuss–how do you protect your solitude and still remain a committed and loving partner? Certainly some of that conversation can and should occur here on the site–so please do respond here–but I hope we can talk openly about some of these issues. Speaking for myself, in this last year, I’ve found it very difficult to maintain the things that I used to value and still value–solitude, reading, writing, contemplation, running, certain friendships, and so on. While I realize a new balance is being struck with Jen, and one that most often seems only to improve, it’s still sometimes hard not to feel some loss. Peters brought some of this up awhile ago on an earlier post, and it would be great to continue some of that conversation and to hear from Peters on this, since he and I are at least in a similar time frame in our marriages, but also to hear from Ned, J. E., and Toby, who have had some longer time to live within their marriages.

In any case, this is on my mind, and it’s part of what I look forward to. Of course, I also look forward to tea and coffee, walking through the leaves, and catching up on all our eccentricities. Autumn has been in full force here in Minnesota for the last couple of weeks–truly exhilarating around the Mississippi, the bridges, the lakes, our neighborhood and in the parks. It will be great to come down while Kansas City will be in the throes of its autumn.

See you, in less than three weeks — Jeff